01 How the fuck was I supposed to know you were 8usy getting mauled? You know, Noh-Varr, you really should 8e more consider8! May8e schedule your maulings for more convenient times????
[ It's a pretty weak jab, by her standards, and she follows the message up quickly. ]
02 It's a8out Simon. There is something I want to ask him, 8ut I think he might take it the wrong way. ::::/
03 I don't want to d8 him, you willfully o8tuse jackass.
04 It is sort of hard to explain. Relationships are much more complex for trolls! Unlike humans with their inane and 8oring one-dimensional conception of romance, trolls have four different quadrants we have to fill!
05 God, I'm not giving you a whole 8r8kdown of Alternian d8ing customs.
06 What I want to ask Simon does fall into one of the four quadrants, yes. 8ut it's not a romantic quadrant, so shut your stupid face!
07 It is a platonic quadrant called moirallegiance. The two trolls in such a relationship are called moirails.
08 And I want to ask Simon to 8e my moirail. I just have no idea how.
01 Pff. If I actually explained all of it to you, we would 8e here until the inevita8le heat death of the universe.
02 It's complic8ed. I guess the most 8asic way to put it would 8e to say that moirails look out for and protect each other. 8ut it's more than that.
03 Moirails balance each other out. They will guard each other, and reign each other in if one party is crazy or dangerous. Or 8oth.
04 Many trolls 8elieve it is a f8ed relationship, destined to happen only with one specific partner!
05 I don't 8uy into that thinking, though. Considering my last moirail totally ditched me and I never figured out why.
06 8ut I know I am pale for Simon. It's actually kind of gross how pale I am for him. I never thought I would want to protect someone as 8adly as I do him.
07 I want to 8e the kind of moirail he could 8e proud of. The kind that actually fucking helps! I was a pretty shitty moirail 8efore. I just took and took and took without ever 8othering to reciproc8.
08 8ut I don't want to fuck that up with Simon. I want to 8e a good moirail to him.
09 ........ 8ut I am pretty sure he will find this idea so awkward he might actually shrivel up and die on the spot.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
unfavoured
no subject
FROM: varr.noh@cdc.org
coja
[THAT IS ALL THE DEFINITION YOU'RE GONNA GET.
So sit tight and wait.]
no subject
Haha. Don't die. Text me when you're clear!
SOME CONVENIENT TIME LATER...
I'm listening.
PS. Your timing is terrible.
no subject
How the fuck was I supposed to know you were 8usy getting mauled? You know, Noh-Varr, you really should 8e more consider8! May8e schedule your maulings for more convenient times????
[ It's a pretty weak jab, by her standards, and she follows the message up quickly. ]
02
It's a8out Simon. There is something I want to ask him, 8ut I think he might take it the wrong way. ::::/
no subject
FROM: varr.noh@cdc.org
Humans consider it rude to ask directly about sexual preferences, I'm pretty certain.
[He only sees the very best in you, Vri.]
no subject
PS. Isn't he too old for you?
no subject
Oh my god.
02
Fuck you!
03
I don't want to d8 him, you willfully o8tuse jackass.
04
It is sort of hard to explain. Relationships are much more complex for trolls! Unlike humans with their inane and 8oring one-dimensional conception of romance, trolls have four different quadrants we have to fill!
05
God, I'm not giving you a whole 8r8kdown of Alternian d8ing customs.
06
What I want to ask Simon does fall into one of the four quadrants, yes. 8ut it's not a romantic quadrant, so shut your stupid face!
07
It is a platonic quadrant called moirallegiance. The two trolls in such a relationship are called moirails.
08
And I want to ask Simon to 8e my moirail. I just have no idea how.
no subject
FROM: varr.noh@cdc.org
You've essentially just explained it to me. Why is this difficult?
FROM: varr.noh@cdc.org
Explain 'moirallegiance'. What do moirails do for each other?
wordalanche.
Pff. If I actually explained all of it to you, we would 8e here until the inevita8le heat death of the universe.
02
It's complic8ed. I guess the most 8asic way to put it would 8e to say that moirails look out for and protect each other. 8ut it's more than that.
03
Moirails balance each other out. They will guard each other, and reign each other in if one party is crazy or dangerous. Or 8oth.
04
Many trolls 8elieve it is a f8ed relationship, destined to happen only with one specific partner!
05
I don't 8uy into that thinking, though. Considering my last moirail totally ditched me and I never figured out why.
06
8ut I know I am pale for Simon. It's actually kind of gross how pale I am for him. I never thought I would want to protect someone as 8adly as I do him.
07
I want to 8e the kind of moirail he could 8e proud of. The kind that actually fucking helps! I was a pretty shitty moirail 8efore. I just took and took and took without ever 8othering to reciproc8.
08
8ut I don't want to fuck that up with Simon. I want to 8e a good moirail to him.
09
........ 8ut I am pretty sure he will find this idea so awkward he might actually shrivel up and die on the spot.
/buried
FROM: varr.noh@cdc.org
Are you sure he can hold up his end of the bargain, Vriska?
[He couldn't protect you from a soggy paper bag.]
YOU LOVE ME.
[ She hasn't quite got his drift, that he means physical protection. ]
/..........tags from phone
[If it came to that, would he really be able to stop you?]
1/2 HAHAHAHAHAHA GO TO SLEEP YOU LOSER
no subject
Haha! Yeah, he's a complete pushover. There is no way he could ever win a fight on my 8ehalf or something ridiculously farfetched like that.
02
8ut that is not what I need him to do!
03
........
04
This is going to sound really dum8, 8ut a 8ig part of 8eing a moirail is just keeping a more dangerous troll from doing terri8le or stupid things.
05
Whether he knows it or not, he's already done that for me a couple of times.
06
And in exchange ........
07
I can keep him alive.
i can't sleep ;3;
I don't see why he'd refuse a mutually beneficial arrangement.
aw, ara. pets yo head. i'll boomerang you, bb.
::::/
I guess if you HAVE to put it like that, sure, why not!
02
Anyway, pro8a8ly for the same reason you made those stupid dum8 jokes a8out us d8ing.
03
It sounds weird! I know it sounds weird.
04
How the hell do I explain this to a human? Much less a human like Simon.
1/3 maybe idk
2/3
3/4 i lied
i just wanted lots of icons ok
lmao lmao lmao these idiots
01
I don't cry, fuck you! That shit's for wigglers. And I don't eat humans, asshole!!!!!!!!
02
8ut to answer your question, yes. He can refuse. I would not 8e mad if he did.
03
Like I said, I know this is a pretty 8izarre request.
04
8luh. Alright. I will try.
05
Expressing to other people that you care a8out them is hard, Noh-Varr. It's hard, and no one understands.
no subject
I understand. Trust me, I do.
You're brave to know how you feel and to want to express it. Don't wait too long.
1/2
Someone else called her that, once. ]
no subject
It's funny. You are not the first person to say that to me. And I will tell you what I told him: I'm not 8rave.
02
8ut I won't w8.
03
Thanks, Noh-Varr.
no subject
Go get him.