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VARR.NOH@CDC.ORG
(0) UNREAD MESSAGES
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unfavouredVARR.NOH@CDC.ORG
(0) UNREAD MESSAGES
unfavoured[The point was to kill. Garrus stares for a moment after Noh-Varr's moved away to pick up the shille, still processing that. The point was to kill, and Noh-Varr knew?
He follows Noh-Varr in quietly. He's supposed to not judge too quickly but it gets so very hard sometimes. Once inside, Garrus sits down on Noh-Varr's bed, tired.]
Why would the point have been to kill him? They're friends, more than friends. And he's wandering around angry and...
[Garrus trails off, shaking his head yet again.]
He follows Noh-Varr in quietly. He's supposed to not judge too quickly but it gets so very hard sometimes. Once inside, Garrus sits down on Noh-Varr's bed, tired.]
Why would the point have been to kill him? They're friends, more than friends. And he's wandering around angry and...
[Garrus trails off, shaking his head yet again.]
[ Noh-Varr knows many things, not all of which he's able to connect. What happened this morning remains mysterious to him. He sets the shille down on the rover floor, glad that Foxtrot, their resident furball, is out with his owner. ]
They left to mate. [ He says it quietly, because it's fairly sensitive cultural information, but firmly. It's the only thing he's certain of. This would normally be the place he'd run his hand through his hair to expel the excess stress, but he doesn't allow himself the gesture now. It would be empty. His wellbeing is not at stake here, he just doesn't like the idea of someone precious to him being in pain. ]
Rejehejete'e mating practices require the partners to establish worthiness through battle. Warriorhead told me he would try to kill a potential reproductive partner out of instinct.
[ And that is clearly what happened. He leaves out Warriorhead's admitted nervousness. Telling Garrus would serve no purpose but to paint his instructor in a light that, while perhaps more relatable, Warriorhead himself would find unbecoming. ]
They left to mate. [ He says it quietly, because it's fairly sensitive cultural information, but firmly. It's the only thing he's certain of. This would normally be the place he'd run his hand through his hair to expel the excess stress, but he doesn't allow himself the gesture now. It would be empty. His wellbeing is not at stake here, he just doesn't like the idea of someone precious to him being in pain. ]
Rejehejete'e mating practices require the partners to establish worthiness through battle. Warriorhead told me he would try to kill a potential reproductive partner out of instinct.
[ And that is clearly what happened. He leaves out Warriorhead's admitted nervousness. Telling Garrus would serve no purpose but to paint his instructor in a light that, while perhaps more relatable, Warriorhead himself would find unbecoming. ]
[Garrus closes his eyes, adding that information to everything else. Instinct. Not some actual desire to tear into Armada, instinct that happens when they're in the mood. His elbows go on his knees before he rests his forehead in his palms. Spirits. He really had misjudged Warriorhead. He's an idiot.]
Try. And he did. He did try, I mean.
[His voice is quiet, subharmonics strained.]
But he didn't succeed. Armada's still got a chance.
[But it's small. So small. Warriorhead was trying to kill him and Garrus finds he's really not sure about being able to hope, with that detail. But hope isn't about being sure. Faith isn't either.
Garrus opens his eyes and looks up at Noh-Varr.]
He could come back.
[He's not sure it's not a question.]
Try. And he did. He did try, I mean.
[His voice is quiet, subharmonics strained.]
But he didn't succeed. Armada's still got a chance.
[But it's small. So small. Warriorhead was trying to kill him and Garrus finds he's really not sure about being able to hope, with that detail. But hope isn't about being sure. Faith isn't either.
Garrus opens his eyes and looks up at Noh-Varr.]
He could come back.
[He's not sure it's not a question.]
[ He allows himself to be led. Garrus' bunk is comfortable, warm and almost familiar by now. ]
I just want to be with you. Hold you.
[ It's an offer, even if it's a selfish one. He wants to bask in some undivided attention. He'll give it in return, of course, but there's something about lying curled up with someone and listening to them breathe...it's especially comforting when it's Garrus, and those deep subharmonic tones make his chest tremble, like a purr. He settles against Garrus' regulation-issue pillow, shifting against the wall to let the turian have the most space. ]
I just want to be with you. Hold you.
[ It's an offer, even if it's a selfish one. He wants to bask in some undivided attention. He'll give it in return, of course, but there's something about lying curled up with someone and listening to them breathe...it's especially comforting when it's Garrus, and those deep subharmonic tones make his chest tremble, like a purr. He settles against Garrus' regulation-issue pillow, shifting against the wall to let the turian have the most space. ]
Mm, yes.
[He yanks the privacy curtain shut behind them before scooting in nice and close and pulling the blankets up over them. Sure, the rover's a comfortable temperature, but Garrus wants to feel cozy with his lover. It's times like these when he doesn't mind the smaller beds too much - there's no option but being close. Garrus' voice is low, as are his subharmonics, rumbling deep in his chest with affection and desire.]
We should do this more often.
[His gloves get yanked off and dropped off the top of the bed so he can run his talons lightly along Noh-Varr's scalp. It's easily become one of his favorite things to do, in part because he knows Noh-Varr likes it.]
Just... being.
[Doing is good. Doing is great, even, but there's something precious about these sorts of moments that make it a relationship instead of just good sex. The words get a little slower but no less warmer or less rumbly.]
Maybe not to the exclusion of other things. As well as.
[He yanks the privacy curtain shut behind them before scooting in nice and close and pulling the blankets up over them. Sure, the rover's a comfortable temperature, but Garrus wants to feel cozy with his lover. It's times like these when he doesn't mind the smaller beds too much - there's no option but being close. Garrus' voice is low, as are his subharmonics, rumbling deep in his chest with affection and desire.]
We should do this more often.
[His gloves get yanked off and dropped off the top of the bed so he can run his talons lightly along Noh-Varr's scalp. It's easily become one of his favorite things to do, in part because he knows Noh-Varr likes it.]
Just... being.
[Doing is good. Doing is great, even, but there's something precious about these sorts of moments that make it a relationship instead of just good sex. The words get a little slower but no less warmer or less rumbly.]
Maybe not to the exclusion of other things. As well as.
[ He gently bats Ryan's hand away, smiling at the poke. ]
Coverage is needed for protection. [ Please, like that's a valid excuse. ] And I'm not looking to impress all of camp. [ It's a little bit less of a lie now than it used to be. ] All you need to do is ask, you know.
[ Being naked for Ryan's benefit is hardly a chore. He reclines a little more, flexing the muscles of his abdomen, inviting. ]
Coverage is needed for protection. [ Please, like that's a valid excuse. ] And I'm not looking to impress all of camp. [ It's a little bit less of a lie now than it used to be. ] All you need to do is ask, you know.
[ Being naked for Ryan's benefit is hardly a chore. He reclines a little more, flexing the muscles of his abdomen, inviting. ]
I know, but maybe hinting's a little more fun.
[And more comfortable, at times. For all that he tries to be open about some things, there are points when he knows he should be more forthcoming and can't be.
He's done an awful lot of hinting when it comes to this, all of it, and the shift in his thoughts shows in the way he looks slightly distracted even as he leans in to press a kiss to Noh-Varr's lips.]
[And more comfortable, at times. For all that he tries to be open about some things, there are points when he knows he should be more forthcoming and can't be.
He's done an awful lot of hinting when it comes to this, all of it, and the shift in his thoughts shows in the way he looks slightly distracted even as he leans in to press a kiss to Noh-Varr's lips.]
[ Noh-Varr accepts the kiss, leans into it, slow and leisurely. Ryan is a warm stripe all along his front, and that warmth spreads through him like fondness. ]
You don't have to hint. [ Another kiss, harder, and he licks his way into Ryan's mouth before drawing away again. ] I'm not.
You don't have to hint. [ Another kiss, harder, and he licks his way into Ryan's mouth before drawing away again. ] I'm not.
[Ryan presses closer at that second kiss, with a contented sound murmured in response as he reaches up to thread his fingers into Noh-Varr's hair. He almost doesn't want to answer that aloud, wants to just keep kissing Noh and shut himself up, but those words echo through his mind and when he breaks away, he ends up just blurting it out.]
--I think I love you.
[His eyes widen slightly, as if he's surprised himself, and Ryan quickly adds:] I don't-- I don't need anything to change, though, I promise. I still like what we have.
--I think I love you.
[His eyes widen slightly, as if he's surprised himself, and Ryan quickly adds:] I don't-- I don't need anything to change, though, I promise. I still like what we have.
[Hange's ready with another retort after that laugh, though she's cut short when Noh-Varr sends her a message that piques her curiosity almost immediately.
It'll take a good five minutes before she answers, to which she responds with a quick—]
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
I almost want to sing an entire album now. Almost.
[Though it's followed immediately by—]
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
But you're right. We'll need a way to fuel the old system until the prototype is perfected.
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
I'm guessing you already have something in mind?
It'll take a good five minutes before she answers, to which she responds with a quick—]
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
I almost want to sing an entire album now. Almost.
[Though it's followed immediately by—]
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
But you're right. We'll need a way to fuel the old system until the prototype is perfected.
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
I'm guessing you already have something in mind?
[ Noh-Varr sighs with relish as Ryan's fingers slide into his hair, and he leans forcefully into the kiss. When Ryan pulls away, his mouth chases for a bit, until he realizes Ryan is speaking.
What saves him is the immediate reassurance: I don't need anything to change. Still, he stiffens beneath the other man's hands, reflexively, out of worry. He's faced with a choice: trust Ryan at his word (Ryan who knows the terms and conditions, Ryan who has already negotiated, Ryan who has listened) or break this before it becomes a second Garrus. Ryan isn't Pilot, tossing love left and right. The significance of this isn't lost on Noh-Varr. And certainly, he cares for the other man, significantly.
For a long moment, he considers Ryan. And then: ]
I accept.
[ It's possibly the weakest reply Ryan could hope for in the face of what's been offered, but it's honest. Noh-Varr doesn't reject the gift, and that in itself is a step forward from who he was just months ago. ]
What saves him is the immediate reassurance: I don't need anything to change. Still, he stiffens beneath the other man's hands, reflexively, out of worry. He's faced with a choice: trust Ryan at his word (Ryan who knows the terms and conditions, Ryan who has already negotiated, Ryan who has listened) or break this before it becomes a second Garrus. Ryan isn't Pilot, tossing love left and right. The significance of this isn't lost on Noh-Varr. And certainly, he cares for the other man, significantly.
For a long moment, he considers Ryan. And then: ]
I accept.
[ It's possibly the weakest reply Ryan could hope for in the face of what's been offered, but it's honest. Noh-Varr doesn't reject the gift, and that in itself is a step forward from who he was just months ago. ]
[It's still more than he expected. The way Noh-Varr had tensed at the words was worrying, but his acceptance soothes the fear there, smooths the slight furrow from his brow as a small smile settles into place. Ryan doesn't expect the sentiment to be returned; this is enough, knowing that it's okay.]
--good.
[His grin stretches into something warmer, full of affection- maybe a little giddy with the rush from that jolt of fear being replaced with relief.]
I was a little afraid you wouldn't, honestly. But I'm not going to ask for anything more unless you offer it first.
[Ryan can be happy with this, with having Noh's company (and others' if he wants it); anything else is up to him.]
--good.
[His grin stretches into something warmer, full of affection- maybe a little giddy with the rush from that jolt of fear being replaced with relief.]
I was a little afraid you wouldn't, honestly. But I'm not going to ask for anything more unless you offer it first.
[Ryan can be happy with this, with having Noh's company (and others' if he wants it); anything else is up to him.]
[ He wasn't expecting to feel real pressure at this, to be honest. He's never balked at a project before, and he's build more complex things. But there's something about Marco's keen confidence that fills him with the fear of failure. ]
You can thank me when this is over, and you have an arm again.
[ He smiles casually, full of confidence, though how much of that is real and how much is for Marco's benefit is unclear. He fakes it well enough that it doesn't matter. ]
How much can you feel, in the stump?
[ He absolutely won't touch Marco's bandage, because that's a surefire way to get kicked out of medical. ]
You can thank me when this is over, and you have an arm again.
[ He smiles casually, full of confidence, though how much of that is real and how much is for Marco's benefit is unclear. He fakes it well enough that it doesn't matter. ]
How much can you feel, in the stump?
[ He absolutely won't touch Marco's bandage, because that's a surefire way to get kicked out of medical. ]
[ Noh-Varr's expression softens, and he relaxes, somewhat assuaged. ]
I'll hold you to that.
[ His tone is mildly wary, but also carries enough humor to soften the blow. ]
You know there's still Garrus. And... [ His eyes slide away, expression fond. ] Pilot, more recently. I won't hold you to any expectation, either. You're free to see other people, and you don't need to tell me about it if you don't want to.
I'll hold you to that.
[ His tone is mildly wary, but also carries enough humor to soften the blow. ]
You know there's still Garrus. And... [ His eyes slide away, expression fond. ] Pilot, more recently. I won't hold you to any expectation, either. You're free to see other people, and you don't need to tell me about it if you don't want to.
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
An air compressor would certainly solve a lot of short term problems. Good idea, and since Ed volunteered to help with the actual upgrades I'm sure he'd be able to assist with this as well.
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
A viable fuel source to power it would be tricky though. I have some gasoline, but if there's a more efficient alternative we can use then I'd favor that one drastically.
An air compressor would certainly solve a lot of short term problems. Good idea, and since Ed volunteered to help with the actual upgrades I'm sure he'd be able to assist with this as well.
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
A viable fuel source to power it would be tricky though. I have some gasoline, but if there's a more efficient alternative we can use then I'd favor that one drastically.
FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org
you'd let me see?
FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org
for real? Dude I'd SO be down, I never get a chance to look at anything like this at home, my budget is like five bucks and a mothball, I'd kill to get my hands on anything. even a blueprint
FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org
and thanks man. he's a really good guy, he deserves better than what he's gotten.
you'd let me see?
FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org
for real? Dude I'd SO be down, I never get a chance to look at anything like this at home, my budget is like five bucks and a mothball, I'd kill to get my hands on anything. even a blueprint
FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org
and thanks man. he's a really good guy, he deserves better than what he's gotten.
I'd rather you hold me to you.
[...by which he means that he's fine enough with this to continue making ridiculously cheesy comments about it, complete with a dorky grin as he nuzzles close against him. This is what you've signed up for, Noh-Varr, examine your life and choices.]
...and I know. You and Garrus are the only ones I've been with so far, though. I'm- not really sure whether that's going to change.
[...by which he means that he's fine enough with this to continue making ridiculously cheesy comments about it, complete with a dorky grin as he nuzzles close against him. This is what you've signed up for, Noh-Varr, examine your life and choices.]
...and I know. You and Garrus are the only ones I've been with so far, though. I'm- not really sure whether that's going to change.
[Don't choke, Noh-Varr.
I mean, um...he believes in you...
It isn't his intention to place any pressure on Noh-Varr. Even if the first draft doesn't quite click, that doesn't mean it can't be tweaked until everything falls into place.]
I think it feels like normal, for the most part... It's still really sore, I can definitely feel that.
I mean, um...he believes in you...
It isn't his intention to place any pressure on Noh-Varr. Even if the first draft doesn't quite click, that doesn't mean it can't be tweaked until everything falls into place.]
I think it feels like normal, for the most part... It's still really sore, I can definitely feel that.
[ Noh-Varr laughs; after all, this is the guy who gave his ex-girlfriend 'A+ for smooching'. He can stand a little schmoopiness. He tilts his head to give Ryan better access to his neck and jaw, his shoulders trembling with his laughter. ]
It doesn't have to change. [ He's parroting, but it's heartfelt. ] I'm just letting you know.
It doesn't have to change. [ He's parroting, but it's heartfelt. ] I'm just letting you know.
Well.
[He interrupts himself with small, lazy kisses pressed against Noh's skin, hardly able to stop being affectionate now that he's gotten started.]
More that I don't know if it'll work out with anyone else, but we'll see, I guess? And I don't mind you talking about anyone else, for the record.
[They've got one partner in common already, and Ryan happens to like Pilot well enough. The thought doesn't bother him as much as it might have before he was recruited.]
[He interrupts himself with small, lazy kisses pressed against Noh's skin, hardly able to stop being affectionate now that he's gotten started.]
More that I don't know if it'll work out with anyone else, but we'll see, I guess? And I don't mind you talking about anyone else, for the record.
[They've got one partner in common already, and Ryan happens to like Pilot well enough. The thought doesn't bother him as much as it might have before he was recruited.]
[ Noh-Varr shakes his head, spreads his empty hands as if to exemplify the paper-thinness of his knowledge. ]
I don't know, Garrus. But hesitation in battle is a grave dishonor, and neither of them is dishonorable. Their devotion would have fueled them.
[ In other words, he doesn't believe Armada's chances are very good. It's upsetting; he remembers the faint aurora-blue pattern of light against the instructor's throat, seen up close when Armada had leaned his head against his. He likes Armada, his expertise, his easy demeanor.
Gently, he reaches forward, fingers tracing the front of Garrus' armor, but doesn't bridge the gap between them. His hand is perfectly still, as if from marble. His focus is intense. He stays like that for a moment, contemplating his emotions, wondering. Worrying about him is an insult to his capacities. But to claim there is hope is an insult to Warriorhead's strength. ]
You spoke with Warriorhead. [ A statement, not a question. ] What did he tell you?
I don't know, Garrus. But hesitation in battle is a grave dishonor, and neither of them is dishonorable. Their devotion would have fueled them.
[ In other words, he doesn't believe Armada's chances are very good. It's upsetting; he remembers the faint aurora-blue pattern of light against the instructor's throat, seen up close when Armada had leaned his head against his. He likes Armada, his expertise, his easy demeanor.
Gently, he reaches forward, fingers tracing the front of Garrus' armor, but doesn't bridge the gap between them. His hand is perfectly still, as if from marble. His focus is intense. He stays like that for a moment, contemplating his emotions, wondering. Worrying about him is an insult to his capacities. But to claim there is hope is an insult to Warriorhead's strength. ]
You spoke with Warriorhead. [ A statement, not a question. ] What did he tell you?
[ He shrugs, as if saying he isn't the type, relaxing into Ryan's affections. He could get used to this. ]
You know about the ones I have. [ Ryan knows about Warriorhead; was the first, in fact. Garrus, Pilot. He finds himself increasingly satisfied with that number. A pretty girl wouldn't go amiss... ] Who've you got your eye on?
[ He didn't miss that telltale little 'we'll see', Ryan. His smile is playful, even as he noses the border of the other man's hairline. ]
You know about the ones I have. [ Ryan knows about Warriorhead; was the first, in fact. Garrus, Pilot. He finds himself increasingly satisfied with that number. A pretty girl wouldn't go amiss... ] Who've you got your eye on?
[ He didn't miss that telltale little 'we'll see', Ryan. His smile is playful, even as he noses the border of the other man's hairline. ]
[ 'Feels like normal' isn't extremely descriptive, but Noh-Varr gets the sentiment. His smile is a bit lopsided from amusement, but heartfelt. ]
I want you to keep me updated as it heals; how much sensation you lose will be critical in knowing how far back we'll have to reach for usable nerves.
[ He's trying to make invasive surgery sound benign, but he was never known for bedside manner. He's no surgeon. ]
I want you to keep me updated as it heals; how much sensation you lose will be critical in knowing how far back we'll have to reach for usable nerves.
[ He's trying to make invasive surgery sound benign, but he was never known for bedside manner. He's no surgeon. ]
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