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VARR.NOH@CDC.ORG
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unfavouredVARR.NOH@CDC.ORG
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unfavouredFROM: devan.isha@cdc.org
Oh good, here I thought I'd have to find you somewhere in medical nursing some grand wound.
It's good to hear from you.
[Look at her actually being a little open.]
Oh good, here I thought I'd have to find you somewhere in medical nursing some grand wound.
It's good to hear from you.
[Look at her actually being a little open.]
FROM: devan.isha@cdc.org
I already have Baqer on watch, do I need to add you too to the list?
I already have Baqer on watch, do I need to add you too to the list?
FROM: devan.isha@cdc.org
He's been under my surveillance for some time now, by Warriorhead's orders. Given that I took a bit of a catnap, I haven't been able to keep up with him.
FROM: devan.isha@cdc.org
It seems in my absence he's done no better and has been giving Kaname grief. We are of the same opinion now.
He's been under my surveillance for some time now, by Warriorhead's orders. Given that I took a bit of a catnap, I haven't been able to keep up with him.
FROM: devan.isha@cdc.org
It seems in my absence he's done no better and has been giving Kaname grief. We are of the same opinion now.
FROM: bott.marco@cdc.org
Yes. Hte awful spellin gmakes it obvious?
[He doesn't know what he can say to the apology. There's nothing to be sorry about: it happened, and he'll do what he has to do to keep going. Self-pity can only weigh him down.]
FROM: bott.marco@cdc.org
I'm ok. I'm lucky tobe alive.
Yes. Hte awful spellin gmakes it obvious?
[He doesn't know what he can say to the apology. There's nothing to be sorry about: it happened, and he'll do what he has to do to keep going. Self-pity can only weigh him down.]
FROM: bott.marco@cdc.org
I'm ok. I'm lucky tobe alive.
[It gets better.]
FROM: devan.isha@cdc.og
She was checking up on all of us when he launched into some sort of paranoid tirade about how everyone is trying to kill him.
[You can almost hear how done she is.]
FROM: devan.isha@cdc.og
She was checking up on all of us when he launched into some sort of paranoid tirade about how everyone is trying to kill him.
[You can almost hear how done she is.]
FROM: devan.isha@cdc.og
No, he's not. Which I can almost understand, none of this is easy to acclimate to, but his actions will help nothing. As for survival, I'm not sure.
FROM: devan.isha@cdc.org
I haven't seen him, but I haven't gone looking for him exactly.
No, he's not. Which I can almost understand, none of this is easy to acclimate to, but his actions will help nothing. As for survival, I'm not sure.
FROM: devan.isha@cdc.org
I haven't seen him, but I haven't gone looking for him exactly.
[ It's not an apology; he knows he couldn't be everywhere at once on the battlefield, but that doesn't stop him from feeling regret that Marco's been injured. They might not know each other very well, loss of a limb is deathly serious. ]
FROM: varr.noh@cdc.org
And you're here about a mechanical replacement.
[ It's a statement of fact. In his mind, he's already begun thinking about specs. ]
FROM: varr.noh@cdc.org
Have you contact Neheda already?
[ He's not unwilling. But Mothership has been known to bring back the dead, and a real arm will always be better than a false one. ]
FROM: varr.noh@cdc.org
And you're here about a mechanical replacement.
[ It's a statement of fact. In his mind, he's already begun thinking about specs. ]
FROM: varr.noh@cdc.org
Have you contact Neheda already?
[ He's not unwilling. But Mothership has been known to bring back the dead, and a real arm will always be better than a false one. ]
[the moment Noh-Varr is in camp and outside his rover, he'll find himself approached by a tense, wary figure, fingers curled into the hem of a blue jacket and geared with gun and dagger (the leg holster didn't look too tacky). incredibly, he doesn't look tired. moreover, he looks like he expects Noh-Varr to bite him; or maybe, more accurately, he's looking for signs of the start to a fight. it's contradictory, if you think too hard about it.]
[regardless of how he looks,]
Are you pulling my leg?
[is the first thing out of his mouth.]
[regardless of how he looks,]
Are you pulling my leg?
[is the first thing out of his mouth.]
[ Noh-Varr is sitting on the rover's step, finding himself needing some fresh air. He has a few friends among the dead--Fiona, Temeraire. Aeryn, Lightning and Cortana are gone. Every time this happens he thinks he'll be more inured to it, but the reality is he just gets more and more attached to the crew he has left.
He looks up, uncharacteristically tired-looking, and motions for Hinata to come forward. His body language is calm, steady. He's too busy mourning to be aggressive. ]
Why would I?
[ His hands retreat to his knees. He doesn't move to rise to meet the boy. ]
I meant my offer.
[ In a way, he considers himself well-suited for this. There's nothing Hinata can say that Vriska hasn't put him through already. In fact, he suspects Hinata's feelings will be much more justified. ]
He looks up, uncharacteristically tired-looking, and motions for Hinata to come forward. His body language is calm, steady. He's too busy mourning to be aggressive. ]
Why would I?
[ His hands retreat to his knees. He doesn't move to rise to meet the boy. ]
I meant my offer.
[ In a way, he considers himself well-suited for this. There's nothing Hinata can say that Vriska hasn't put him through already. In fact, he suspects Hinata's feelings will be much more justified. ]
[his head dips, feet not budging. a good part of him recognizes the suggestions of defeat in Noh-Varr's body language: lacking sleep or peace of mind, quiet, watchful but not assertive. sitting back, for once. the blond was never what he'd call loud, but there'd always been a type of energy to him.]
[the last time he'd seen the man like this was by a campfire in a frozen tundra. they'd barely known each other - but that didn't matter when sent so far from the familiar, scared and alone. the impression of the other being something strong and impressive hadn't faded, but it had gained some nostalgia. as with all memories, it transformed into something larger than it had been.]
[or perhaps Noh-Varr simply was that grand, even in grief. Hinata rarely felt things at less than one-hundred-percent.]
I'm tired of listening to myself.
[despite what the offer had been--- those are the words that slip out of his mouth. he still doesn't draw closer.]
Why don't you vent?
[if he said he had nothing worth saying - Hinata would call bullshit.]
[the last time he'd seen the man like this was by a campfire in a frozen tundra. they'd barely known each other - but that didn't matter when sent so far from the familiar, scared and alone. the impression of the other being something strong and impressive hadn't faded, but it had gained some nostalgia. as with all memories, it transformed into something larger than it had been.]
[or perhaps Noh-Varr simply was that grand, even in grief. Hinata rarely felt things at less than one-hundred-percent.]
I'm tired of listening to myself.
[despite what the offer had been--- those are the words that slip out of his mouth. he still doesn't draw closer.]
Why don't you vent?
[if he said he had nothing worth saying - Hinata would call bullshit.]
FROM: devan.isha@cdc.org
It wouldn't take very much to put him down from the looks of it. I only have permission to keep him in line but to report to Warriorhead should anything else happen.
FROM: devan.isha@cdc.org
He informed he has no qualms about reassigning him.
It wouldn't take very much to put him down from the looks of it. I only have permission to keep him in line but to report to Warriorhead should anything else happen.
FROM: devan.isha@cdc.org
He informed he has no qualms about reassigning him.
[She would've killed him already if he kept being so heinous, or at least put him somewhere away from the rest of the team so he doesn't jeopardize them all.]
FROM: devan.isha@cdc.org
Rest is a luxury, counsel he is not keen on listening to. You may have better luck, you have more patience than I do.
FROM: devan.isha@cdc.org
Rest is a luxury, counsel he is not keen on listening to. You may have better luck, you have more patience than I do.
[ The question makes Noh-Varr sit up straighter, if only because he wasn't expecting it. Not now and not from Hinata. In the same vein, he feels like this question is testing him, somewhat, and that consideration gives him pause.
It would be easy to say something like my life makes more sense here than it ever did before or it's in my nature to fall in or I wish I knew how to make better choices, but the desire passes quickly. Hinata doesn't need to know all his failings, and he shouldn't want to share them. He suspects the human would have difficulty understanding, or that the lack of sympathy would cause him distress when it's unneeded. Somewhere inside himself he doesn't want Hinata to know how human he is.
It isn't that Noh-Varr isn't frustrated, or that he copes well with losing people. It's that he's gotten so used to it he can't even summon up the indignation anymore. It took a lot of suffering to make him this way. He doesn't want that for Hinata.
Instead, what he offers is: ]
I just wish we'd be allowed to say goodbye, before they're sent away.
[ The deaths--they weigh on him. Fiona especially. She was just a human. A completely normal human. He could have, should have looked out for her more. But it's the transfers that gut him, knowing the others are out there, just out of reach.
He motions beside himself; there's space left there. It's an open invitation; some people prefer to stand when they're angry. ]
It would be easy to say something like my life makes more sense here than it ever did before or it's in my nature to fall in or I wish I knew how to make better choices, but the desire passes quickly. Hinata doesn't need to know all his failings, and he shouldn't want to share them. He suspects the human would have difficulty understanding, or that the lack of sympathy would cause him distress when it's unneeded. Somewhere inside himself he doesn't want Hinata to know how human he is.
It isn't that Noh-Varr isn't frustrated, or that he copes well with losing people. It's that he's gotten so used to it he can't even summon up the indignation anymore. It took a lot of suffering to make him this way. He doesn't want that for Hinata.
Instead, what he offers is: ]
I just wish we'd be allowed to say goodbye, before they're sent away.
[ The deaths--they weigh on him. Fiona especially. She was just a human. A completely normal human. He could have, should have looked out for her more. But it's the transfers that gut him, knowing the others are out there, just out of reach.
He motions beside himself; there's space left there. It's an open invitation; some people prefer to stand when they're angry. ]
[straight lines, direct paths, bulldozed or otherwise: how Hinata's thoughts had always operated. now - a jumble, the jump from grief to hope and back too quick, an overwhelming shuffle that left him where he was: no straight paths, nothing direct or comprehensible. the official mission yielded no deserving corpses. likewise for the aftermath within the crew. the transfers were set at random - recruitment, the same. there was nothing to be done for it.]
[accepting that went against Hinata's very nature. and so - after raving, crying -- too much crying, newly embarrassing in the lack of humiliation he mustered over it - hearing his own simple, rehashed ideas that went nowhere again and again, told to concentrate on survival and a nebulous future--- he was sick of it.]
[did the people he knew have any ideas? did they hold back because they thought he couldn't take it?]
[he was sick of wondering those ugly, isolating thoughts, too. it came as a relief to look outward, even if those people hurt just as much as he.]
[momentary confusion (of course-- hell if he wasn't sick of that, too), a pinch between the eyebrows - there were burials this time - but then it clicks. the transfers.]
Have you ever sent a letter? [pointed questioning didn't come naturally to him: instead, it's quiet, a tip in the direction of understanding. can't relax, can't smooth the tension from his shoulders, can't do anything directly but can and does finally step forward toward the stoop, perching on its edge as if ready to bolt back up at any time.]
[-- even after he asked that question, the second he sat down,]
It's not the same.
[couldn't even know if the message reached them. and no words replaced physical action.]
[accepting that went against Hinata's very nature. and so - after raving, crying -- too much crying, newly embarrassing in the lack of humiliation he mustered over it - hearing his own simple, rehashed ideas that went nowhere again and again, told to concentrate on survival and a nebulous future--- he was sick of it.]
[did the people he knew have any ideas? did they hold back because they thought he couldn't take it?]
[he was sick of wondering those ugly, isolating thoughts, too. it came as a relief to look outward, even if those people hurt just as much as he.]
[momentary confusion (of course-- hell if he wasn't sick of that, too), a pinch between the eyebrows - there were burials this time - but then it clicks. the transfers.]
Have you ever sent a letter? [pointed questioning didn't come naturally to him: instead, it's quiet, a tip in the direction of understanding. can't relax, can't smooth the tension from his shoulders, can't do anything directly but can and does finally step forward toward the stoop, perching on its edge as if ready to bolt back up at any time.]
[-- even after he asked that question, the second he sat down,]
It's not the same.
[couldn't even know if the message reached them. and no words replaced physical action.]
FROM: devan.isha@cdc.org
Sooner rather than later I hope. I'll watch him but I'm not here to babysit him.
Sooner rather than later I hope. I'll watch him but I'm not here to babysit him.
FROM: bott.marco@cdc.org
I am. And I have. It doesn't look like anything can be done. Only as a mission freebi e.
FROM: bott.marco@cdc.org
You can help me? I'd be in Debbie to you.
FROM: bott.marco@cdc.org
Indebted to you.
[Back home, the most anyone could offer is a wooden stand-in, lifeless and no more useful than the stump he's left with. The possibility of a working replacement is more than he could have hoped for.]
I am. And I have. It doesn't look like anything can be done. Only as a mission freebi e.
FROM: bott.marco@cdc.org
You can help me? I'd be in Debbie to you.
FROM: bott.marco@cdc.org
Indebted to you.
[Back home, the most anyone could offer is a wooden stand-in, lifeless and no more useful than the stump he's left with. The possibility of a working replacement is more than he could have hoped for.]
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